..yep, cancel that last post. No divorce. The former spouse would not consent to the judgment paper work, could not come to the hearing, and multiple other issues that caused the judge to NOT be willing to sign the judgment in good conscience. Yes, I'm beyond disappointed, fatigued and weary. But, with a bit of time to think on it all, I am still good with trusting God's sovereignty.
And I'm seeing His hand at work already. I can see where He is allowing the behavior of others to spin them around and bite them in the behind. I'm seeing God meet out consequences for poor choices. He is telling me to sit tight and let Him take all charge, let Him measure out consequences, vengence, and vindication. I'm still learning the fine art of truly being still before the Father and learning He is sincerely God. God of the universe, God of me, and God of all activity on earth. I, on the other hand, am NOT.
Don't you feel glad for that admission? You wouldn't want me trying to control your life. People who try to control others usually end up doing a pretty poor job of it, and mostly just cause strife and grief. Glad that isn't God's method.
As I sit here writing, I am smiling at the support of dear, loved friends. Two went with me to court Friday. Both are people I admire, trust, and love. Both are people of prayer, grace, and love for Jesus. What better support could I have with me?! My Jody, as I call her, held me and let me weep in the parking lot as I felt the pain of hope deferred. Dear friend, Mike, insisted on treating me to coffee and a good, hearty breakfast to help me face the day, and to save me from heading out on the road in a very disappointed state of mind. Both friends kept me from collapsing in despair as I left the courthouse. Always surround yourself with dear friends. And always be one.
Mike was so wise. He tried to make me smile at times, but knew that sometimes weeping with those who weep is the better choice. Letting me cry was the need of the morning. And he did, indeed, let me cry. Let me talk. Let me be quiet and glare. He was sincerely Jesus to me that morning. I hope I will be Jesus to anyone who needs me to be in that position someday. Such a gift was offered to me. I want to pass it on.
I'm learning lessons on this frustrating road. 'Keep my heart a learning one, Father. Thank you, too, for the lessons learned by my children at this time.' The kiddles are learning to serve their mom in a totally different way. They have seen sorrow on my face, frustration, and many tears. But, they are loving me through them all, and showing such terrific support. For this, I am duly grateful.
God has plans...and I'm ready to see them unfold. Psalm 46:10, "Be Still and KNOW I AM God..."
Hard stuff, but well worth the stillness of heart.
Love to each of you as you learn of this stillness with me.
Gayle
Gayle,
ReplyDeleteI know your pain of patience as far at the ole' courtroom goes! I filed back in march and have been twice since to no avail. He did not agree and actually I gave him a choice...all or nothing...(this has alot of info. behind it) He chose to walk, from a friendship with me, his stepchildren, stepgrandchildren (one to be born this tuesday) and most sadly...Landen! He has not seen any of us for about eight weeks now and it will continue unless he steps up and becomes the man God intended him to be instead of worshiping himself and the almighty dollar..
Praying for you, send on up for us too we go back to court Dec. 2 where the judge will make the judgments on that final day.
Me
Gayle,
ReplyDeleteI have been praying since early Friday morning. I was not aware of this outcome or lack of outcome. I will continue to pray for you my dear sister in Christ.
Love you!
I am so sorry for the outcome. It was my greatest fear for you. The Lord knew all along and had already paved the way. He made sure you had a couple of true friends with you, and many more friends praying for you. We all love you dearly and I sure wish I could take some of this pain from you and your kiddles. Keep on keeping on my friend and continue to give God all glory and be still. :-)
ReplyDeleteDear Gayle,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the pain tha your heart endured again on Friday. It is very hard at times to be "at peace" with the will of God for our lives. Somedays it seems almost unbearable.
I pray that The LORD will give you the heart strength to wake every morning with renewed faith for the day at hand. You need to take one day at a time and sometimes even one hour at a time. Your focus needs to remain on the care and love for your children. When you go to the store this week you need to get a bright bunch of flowers and take them home and put them in front of you and thank the LORD for the love and care he gives to you...the flowers are the evidence you can see with your eyes of the Love of the Lord for YOU! Praying for you.