Ahhh...a fresh, white screen sits before me, ready for the keyboard strikes to begin filling it. What an invitation to creative flow!!!!
Though not single anymore, I am not yet ready to change the name of this blog...especially since I don't know how to do all that fancy graphic stuff with those letters up there. A friend designed the Single Trials logo for me, and I am clueless about how to make the title something more akin to my new life as a married woman learning how to be a wife again.
Besides that, I still have alot of lessons learned, thoughts gleaned, and wounds healed or healing from the single years. So, my thinking on it isn't over.
The past few days, I have been thinking again on single friends, men and women, who are longing for a companion. It is a painful place to be 'alone' when you have known what companionship can feel like. We are all safe and truly sufficient to live alone, or raise children as single parents, but oh, the ease and restfulness of mind offered to the soul when a partner faces life beside us.
A recent reading of the early chapters of Genesis, and a bit of Donald Miller's book Searching for God Knows What, has me considering Adam in the Garden of Eden. You know the story...where the Creator God designed Adam to steward all of creation, to name animals...and then declared there was no companion suitable for the man, though there were hundreds, if not thousands, of species of animals all around him. Now, this Adam was in complete communion and fellowship with God Almighty. They talked and shared intimate time together. Yet, this story still declares there was not an equal companion for the man. God was enough..yet, He was not.
So, this has lead me to think that the longing for a companion after becoming a single person through divorce or death is not unusual at all. Nor is it unbiblical to long for such company. Yes, I know the passages on divorce and adultery, and the enormous disparity of opinions and conviction on these things, but I am not here to address that idea at present. That could mean writing another book on the subject, of which there are already hundreds. I am merely discussing the longing of the human heart....a heart the Father of Creation made to need companionship.
Please understand, I am not writing to discuss major theological understanding on this issue. I am discussing humanity, humanity that the Father created, that is more complex than the mere 67 books of the Bible could ever begin to cover with all its facets. God designed the human heart. He has spoken need into it. It is for Him to fill our deepest needs...those of the eternal spirit, the part of us that will go on living long after our heart stops beating. He also created the soul, the yearning soul, the one meant to connect to other human beings. We connect through friendships of a platonic nature, but we also crave the fellowship of one special person that will know us intimately like no other on earth will have the privilege.
Thus, my thoughts on my single friends; the ones who want what Edwin and I are growing into in our own lives. We are learning to be spouses to each other...doing the work of loving, listening, serving, and giving in order to be the couple into which God is shaping us for His purposes. My prayer for these folks is a redemption of their hearts....a restored joy in love. These aren't people who lived lurid lives that led to singleness due to illicit choices. They are individuals who have suffered loss, broken heartedness, and wounds that go deep to the bone. I believe with all my heart that the Father in heaven aches for these souls.
I dare not ever speak for God...that would show I think I know his mind, which would be an extreme lack of reverence for the omnipotence and omniscience which belong to Him alone. But, I know how He ministered such love to me, I know His heart is tender for His people, I know He can work outside of the box we humans have designed for him with our feeble minds and ideas. God can and does bring love again. He does restore joy. He does bring redemption. Even when we don't think we deserve it or will never see it.
Yes, the lonely heart needs healing in God alone. Yes, wounds must be dealt with in order to make a person ready to proceed into a new relationship. These things are vital to a healthy renewal of life. Without those two issues dealt with, only pain will exist. And some healing will only come as a new relationship begins and issues of pain are faced....one can't know what will happen in the heart until face to face with an opportunity to test the newly strengthened and healing heart. But, moving forward can happen. God does do that for us.
My prayer for my single friends is a restful heart in the Father's arms...a knowledge of His powerful love, protection, provision, and His banner over them. After that, I pray He brings them love on earth...a hand to hold, arms to squeeze them, a face to wake up to each morning, a heart to hear their own, hands to work out life's trials with, feet to work on a home or car..simple things that are valuable treasures a partner brings to the banquet table of life.
The Father in heaven is able and willing to bring love...partner..companionship suitable to our heart's need. He is enough. Truly. But, He does KNOW our longing.
I love you, my friends.
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