Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Be Careful How Adultery is Tossed About


While studying Proverbs 6 this morning, I was struck by quite a few things.  Let me see if I can gather all my thoughts into some cohesive ideas here now.

Verses 16-19 list seven things that are an abomination to the LORD Yahweh.  This list includes the following:  haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises evil plans, feet that dash towards evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers, or family. 

Wow.  I don’t think I need to even set about to discuss any definition of those.  Self-explanatory.

Now, right after these four verses hails a long discourse on adulterous activities, the damaged caused by them, and the foolishness of being lured by someone with an adulterous heart. 

Bear with me as I configure this in my mind IN CONTEXT of how it is written.  It has been my practice the past many years to make sure I look at Scripture in context, looking at all surrounding teachings, cultural ideas presented, audience, etc.  For too long did I take a few verses, form an opinion I was sure matched God’s, developed a theology, or a philosophy all with those verses clipped away from any other words around them.  It causes me terrific grief to think I may have lead someone astray from truth when I dogmatically shared some teaching from scripture using my method of extracting verses from their context.  Even worse to me is the knowledge that I was so critical in my spirit of other believers who didn’t tow the line according to my understanding of a particular teaching of scripture; a lesson I assumed was the correct version since it was certainly from the Word of God, notwithstanding that it might not include the actual context of the teaching.  Ugh.  I grieve at this.

Proverbs 6 and 7 are full of wisdom teaching.  Prior to the list of abhorrent sins before God are many verses on life’s need for good decision making; lending money, signing for loans, laziness, hard work ethic, unethical speech, and so on.  Right before the ‘List’, I will call it, are verses about a person who is worthless, wicked – all because he speaks unrighteous speech, accuses others of sins that he is the one actually committing, continuously sows discord, and regularly plans evil works.  Calamity will eventually come upon such a person that will cause brokenness for him. 

The deal with this type of person, AND with all the sins listed here that make the Father feel abhorrence, is that he or she hurts people terribly.  Families, communities, businesses, church groups, neighborhoods, classrooms, social clubs, Bible studies, long standing relationships – all are damaged or destroyed by the person who is actively doing the sins in verses 16 through 19, or is like the man in verses 12 through 15, the one in the paragraph above this one.  This person lies, connives, disturbs, is aggressively damaging other people – former spouses, sisters, brothers, parents, bosses, children, coworkers – the relationship kinds are endless that are ruined by such people and their sin.  Activity such as these listed create the effect of a large stone tossed into a still pond, making ripples that spread across the entire surface and diameter of the water’s limits. 

Back to the end of chapter 6 and most all of chapter 7.  This portion of the passage counsels against the activity of adultery.  The reason this study captivated me today is that the word adultery is thrown about so freely in the church, among believers.  It is cast out so often that shirts with big, glittery letter As should be sold at churches and courthouses for believers who get divorced or remarried. 

We must be so careful how we define adultery here.  WE must understand context, culture, law of Moses, words of Jesus – all teachings – before we develop our convictions. And remember, a conviction isn’t just your opinion or idea.  It is a well-studied, thought out belief with foundations that have roots in multiple sources of information that is sound and accurate.  Taking a few verses, reading them, then declaring a conviction is not a wise method of forming your belief system. 

This Proverbs teaching on adultery is not referring to divorce or remarriage, though it has been used often to accompany other Old Testament teachings, and New Testament ones.  This passage is not wisely used for that study. 

Let me cut in here to say that I am discussing the idea of adultery as cast out against people like me, who went through horrendous pain in their marriage, then endured a ugly or traumatic divorce, THEN dated and remarried to have a partner in life, and a  healthy relationship with a spouse.  This passage does not apply to folks like me. 

Proverbs 6 and 7 are discussing adultery, na’aph transliterated from Hebrew, sexual relations with someone currently married to another.  These passages are talking about going in to sleep with someone while that person’s spouse is not home.  This is a woman who woos a man because her heart is evil, not loyal to her husband, lascivious, sexually immoral, and not a person walking out her faith in the eternal God and his spirit in her.  Or it is a man, who is married and has a wife at home, but he steals away to a hotel room with his secretary after seducing her with compliments all morning. 

This large section of verses is detailing activity that is carried out by persons who are already not good of heart or spiritual health.  They are NOT discussing the woman who is divorced, free from an unhealthy or frightening marital situation who remarries a man who accepts her children and her life as his own.  Much damage is done to the people of Jesus and all of  humanity when such passages of scripture are used to beat down women and men who have sought to remarry after a horribly many years of traumatic marriage.  But, countless times have I heard or seen passages like these used to teach against remarriage as adultery. 

I am not addressing a full discourse on divorce and remarriage here.  Books by the thousands address that study and social issue.  Here, I am pointing out that Proverbs 6 and 7 should NOT be used as foundational teaching passages for your belief on divorce and remarriage.  They are not in that context.

There is that word again, context.  Let me slip back into the entire passage here, and not just the verses on adultery.  I hope my point is made on that topic.  As I consider the sins listed here, the ‘not adultery’ ones, I am struck that these sins do far more damage to the entire globe than divorce ever could.  Yes, divorce, remarriage, and true adultery as listed here, create pains that are heartbreaking.  But, quite frankly, many divorces and remarriages would never occur if the sins that God abhors didn’t take place so pervasively. 

How many times do you hear whispers about someone getting divorced, someone left his or her spouse, the divorcing person made out to be so cold hearted to leave the marriage.  But, has anyone confronted the one in the marriage who was a finger pointer, the one who devised evil, the husband who trashed his wife and threw her under the bus far too many times, the wife who gripes and causes constant strife in the home, the spouse with a mouth that uses words that kill his or her spouse’s spirit over and over again so that there is no chance of life left in a being? 

When we discuss divorce and remarriage in the context of adultery, we must be careful which scripture we use as our conviction bearer.  Dare I also say that when reconciling all Scripture to develop our belief system on issues bearing down on the Church, we must also consider such passages as Proverbs 6:16-19 as part of our understanding of what and who causes great damage to people, relationships, marriages, churches, businesses, communities, families, etc. by behaviors that God abhors.  Divorce and remarriage seem to be focal point topics amongst churches and Christians as ‘key’ determinates of the liberalism in your soul depending on which stand you take.  They are the words tossed about as family destroyers, as the key things God hates.  But, I beg to differ with that idea.

The sins of Proverbs 6:16-19 destroy.  They kill.  They rob. They devastate far more than divorce or remarriage.

Believe me, I know.

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