This morning, I spent an hour in the company of so many good friends. I'd dropped my children off at Sunday School and was then planning to leave for my workplace a bit early for my shift. But, instead, I stayed and chatted with many dear folks God has sent into my life. I left the church feeling richer for each second spent in hugging, chatting, and sharing.
One of the conversations left me with a greater understanding of just how vital these moments of fellowship are for healing, thriving, and moving forward as a single person.
After I received tight squeezes from one couple, a conversation was started between us regarding my blog and how it touches the lives of people. We began discussing the hunger for love that exists in so many men and women that are single after a painful marriage and divorce. So often, in a very troublesome marriage, the hearts in it are hurting and very empty. Many times, abusive words and actions have caused scarring and aching that cut deep into the core of the soul. The loneliness and yearning for love in such situations is a force with which many must battle like Gandalf battled Saruman in The Lord of the Rings. If you have seen those movies, you will know the power thrown about in that fight was intense, injurious, and life threatening.
A heart broken by words that damaged it is hungry - like a ravenous lion preying about for anything to fill its belly. The problem is that a starving lion will eat rotting meat, not just a fresh kill. A dying animal will chew upon a creature covered in maggots, not caring about the condition of its meal, just that its stomach pangs are satiated.
Pretty unsavory images there, aren't they? And exactly how does that connect to the conversation I had this morning with two very dear people? I think you can sense where I am headed, can't you?
When a man or woman is left alone after a divorce, whether by no choice of his or her own, or by the choice to seek freedom and healing; this person is usually starving for a connection that will fill all the aching spots within that have gone without feeding for far too long. Left starving for affection, tenderness, kindness, and genuine care, a heart is emaciated, dry, and screaming for something, anything, to fill its tortured emptiness.
You know I am going to tell you that there is only ONE who can ultimately fill the deepest ache of your heart.
Jesus is the sole lover of your soul who can satisfy your intense need. And do NOT get me wrong - the need is INTENSE and it is REAL.
Love is a horribly vital desire of the human spirit, heart and soul. The kind that satisfies, though, is only found in Christ Jesus. No human on earth can fill your hearts emptiness. You will forever be disappointed by a man or woman if you look to them to heal your heart's lonely places. You will be giving them an impossible task to carry out for you as they try to show you love.
Before you grab onto, or grasp the hand of offered love, fall at the feet of the heavenly Father, receive His unending, never changing, sovereign, merciful love for you. Allow Him to fill you, heal you, feed you, and hydrate your dry, parched heart.
It will take great strength of heart, which you most likely won't feel you possess, to stand firm against the rush of feelings that come over you when a kind word is spoken, a sweet gesture if offered, or someone of the opposite sex even offers you respect. Do not leap at these morsels for the filling of your emptiness. They are morsels, not full banquet feasts.
One day, a feast of human love may come your way, but, it will only be filling to you after you have satiated your hunger at the banquet of the Father's love for you. Give yourself some healing time to let his love overwhelm you. Kindness, respect, friendliness, romance - these all feel like water on a parched sponge after it has lain in the desert for months. But, be wise.
I am NOT suggesting you reject all offers of love or kindness; do not act embittered towards the opposite sex. I am speaking of not leaping at the first tidbits of kindness or flirtation that come your way because they seem like water to a parched tongue!!! You are worth the time taken to heal and become strong. Your heart is worth the richness you will gain as you grow in love with Jesus before grasping at the love of a human being.
Loneliness hurts. I know. Life feels better somehow when shared with a lover - a stroll on a beach, a walk in the mall, a drive in the country - all feel more wonderful when you can hold the hand of someone you love. But these same events can be a wealth of adventure and memory making when shared with a group of friends or your children, or parents. Or even alone. Yes, alone. When you know you are accompanied by the One who loves you most of all, each event is never really one where loneliness has to be the mindset with which you face it. Being alone...not in the company of another human...is not a precursor to loneliness. Remember, I do not advocate always doing things alone.....being with friends is healthy, warranted, wanted, enjoyable...all sorts of adjectives and adverbs. But, sometimes, doing something, just you, is okay. When you know you have your Bridegroom along beside you.
So, don't leap at offerings of romance or kindness like a dying animal might leap upon a carcass in the road. Your next love need not be road kill. You don't need to be that hungry. Let your soul and heart be healed and loved by the Ultimate Lover. Then, when love comes as a banquet feast for you, you can approach the buffet table and choose those delicacies suited to your palette, your greatest delights, and your hearts deepest desires.
As you await that banquet, feast upon the richness of dear friends, family, and folks who feed your soul with their precious love and care in Jesus.
I love you, friends....Gayle
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