Fellowship of friends...vital to thriving as a single person

This morning, I spent an hour in the company of so many good friends.  I'd dropped my children off at Sunday School and was then planning to leave for my workplace a bit early for my shift. But, instead, I stayed and chatted with many dear folks God has sent into my life.  I left the church feeling richer for each second spent in hugging, chatting, and sharing.

One of the conversations left me with a greater understanding of just how vital these moments of fellowship are for healing, thriving, and moving forward as a single person.

After  I received tight squeezes from one couple, a conversation was started between us regarding my blog and how it touches the lives of people.  We began discussing the hunger for love that exists in so  many men and women  that are single after a painful marriage and divorce.  So often, in a very troublesome marriage, the hearts in it are hurting and very empty.  Many times, abusive words and actions have caused scarring and aching that cut deep into the core of the soul.  The loneliness and yearning for love in such situations is a force with which many  must battle like Gandalf battled Saruman in The Lord of the Rings.  If you have seen those movies, you will know the power thrown about in that fight was intense, injurious, and life threatening.

A heart broken by words that damaged it is hungry -  like a ravenous lion preying about for anything to fill its belly.  The problem is that a starving lion will eat rotting meat, not just a fresh kill.  A dying animal will chew upon a creature covered in maggots, not caring about the condition of its meal, just that its stomach pangs are satiated.

Pretty unsavory images there, aren't they?  And exactly how does that connect to the conversation I had this morning with two very dear people?  I think you can sense where I am headed, can't you?

When a man or woman is left alone after a divorce, whether by no choice of his or her own, or by the choice to seek freedom and healing; this person is usually starving for a connection that will fill all the aching spots within that have gone without feeding for far too long.  Left starving for affection, tenderness, kindness, and genuine care, a heart is emaciated, dry, and screaming for something, anything, to fill its tortured emptiness.

You know I am going to tell you that there is only ONE who can ultimately fill the deepest ache of your heart.
Jesus is the sole lover of your soul who can satisfy your intense need. And do NOT get me wrong - the need is INTENSE and it is REAL.

Love is a horribly vital desire of the human spirit, heart and soul. The kind that satisfies, though, is only found in Christ Jesus.  No human on earth can fill your hearts emptiness.  You will forever be disappointed by a man or woman if you look to them to heal your heart's lonely places.  You will be giving them an impossible task to  carry out for you as they try to show you love.

Before you grab onto, or grasp the hand of offered love, fall at the feet of the heavenly Father, receive His unending, never changing, sovereign, merciful love for you.  Allow Him to fill you, heal you, feed you, and hydrate your dry, parched heart.

It will take great strength of heart, which you most likely won't feel you possess, to stand firm against the rush of feelings that come over you when a kind word is spoken, a sweet gesture if offered, or someone of the opposite sex even offers you respect.  Do not leap at these morsels for the filling of your emptiness.  They are morsels, not full banquet feasts.

One day, a feast of human love may come your way, but, it will only be filling to you after you have satiated your hunger at the banquet of  the Father's love for you.  Give yourself some healing time to let his love overwhelm you. Kindness, respect, friendliness, romance - these all feel like water on a parched sponge after it has lain in the desert for months.  But, be wise.

I am NOT suggesting you reject all offers of love or kindness; do not act embittered towards the opposite sex. I am speaking of not leaping at the first tidbits of kindness or flirtation that come your way because they seem like water to a parched tongue!!!  You are worth the time taken to heal and become strong.  Your heart is worth the richness you will gain as you grow in love with Jesus before grasping at the love of a human being.

Loneliness hurts.  I know.  Life feels better somehow when shared with a lover - a stroll on a beach, a walk in the mall, a drive in the country - all feel more wonderful when you can hold the hand of someone you love.  But these same events can be a wealth of adventure and memory making when shared with a group of friends or your children, or parents.  Or even alone.  Yes, alone.  When you know you are accompanied by the One who loves you most of all, each event is never really one where loneliness has to be the mindset with which you face it.  Being alone...not in the company of another human...is not a precursor to loneliness.  Remember, I do not advocate always doing things alone.....being with friends is healthy, warranted, wanted, enjoyable...all sorts of adjectives and adverbs.  But, sometimes, doing something, just you, is okay.  When you know you have your Bridegroom along beside you.

So, don't leap at offerings of romance or kindness like a dying animal might leap upon a carcass in the road.  Your next love need not be road kill.  You don't need to be that hungry.  Let your soul and heart be healed and loved by the Ultimate Lover. Then, when love comes as a banquet feast for you, you can approach the buffet table and choose those delicacies suited to your palette, your greatest delights, and your hearts deepest desires.

As you await that banquet, feast upon the richness of dear friends, family, and folks who feed your soul with their precious love and care in Jesus.

I love you, friends....Gayle

I know you want to be loved, but......

In a majority of the cases, divorced or widowed people would like to be remarried again, or at least a partner in a monogamously commited couple.  It is natural to want to be loved again, and to offer the love one has in his or her own heart.

After months or many years of being 'alone', or not part of a loving couple, the human soul longs to connect in ways beyond friendship.  The relationship that is friends first, then wonderfully leads to romance, is the longing of many a human heart. 

But, in the longing to be loved by another, are you loving yourself enough first and foremost?

By this question, I mean, do  you love yourself enough to demand that the person you connect to in love will also love YOU with respect, honor, and, the behaviors that would show that same respect and honor?
Are you settling for qualities that you do NOT want to live with the rest of your life?

You want love, but are you settling?

Settling has a negative connotation, doesn't it?  It's not a peaceful, satisfying acquiescence to a condition; it is an unsatisfied, gotta take what you can get sort of decision.

Are you afraid no one else will want you?  Do you think that a new love who pays attention to you, but is often rude or angry, is the one you must accept for love because another chance at a relationship may never happen?

Do you allow someone to make you battle feeling belittled?  Stupid?  Your ideas are unimportant?  They won't admit to a deed when your feelings have been hurt?  They won't discuss a painful occurance to you, because ultimately, it means they have to confess a wrong doing or an actual sin against you?  He or she can be flirtatious with the opposite sex, but if you even greet a friend of the opposite sex with a hug, you are being inappropriate?

If any of these questions cause you to say, "Yes," then move on my friend.  Stand up and love yourself.

Tell yourself you are WORTH loving, respecting, and treating well.   Do NOT believe the lie that no one else will want you, or take you as you are, so you must accept rude behavior, callous comments, belittling words, or disrespect in any form.

Love yourself as God loves you.   He has given you value by creating you in His Image, and by letting His son die for you.  This world is full of brokenness caused by the fall of man, not God....but, there are men and women who choose wise, loving, honorable behaviors who can fall in love with you so that you have NO need to giving in to a relationship that will always hurt you.

Now, please, do not get me wrong. In any relationship, there will be moments of weakness, hurt feelings, and words for which someone must apologize. But, if those words and behaviors are the NORM, and not the abnormal, and someone does not want to discuss those things in order to apologize for them, then RUN to the nearest exit and wait for the BEST for you. 

You are worth waiting for the best.  Each of us has a best.  Look yourself in the face as you gaze in a mirror, tell yourself you are worth more than gold; you will not SETTLE for less than a love that thrills your heart, encourages your spirit, makes your soar with delight in your soul,  and gives you smiles at every thought of it.

Do NOT allow your heart to be ruled by a love that causes you to need to walk on eggshells in order to keep someone else happy, non-argumentative, and nice to you.  Choose healthy, sound love.  Be aware of any words or behaviors that send red flags flying before you eyes.  Yield to those red flags.  Don't let them keep waving over you, flaring in your face - lower those flags and walk away.

You are worth all the efforts and the sense of temporary loss you might experience as you choose to wait for a better love.

Wait for the best. 

Settle for nothing less.

I love you, friends....Gayle

Valentine's Day Schmalentine's Day

February 14th.  The 45th day of the year.  Just another day, really.  Hallmark Holiday.  There is not a law in humanity that says we must celebrate how wonderful love and relationships are on this particular day.  But......

Societal pressures abound.  Where do you go that you do NOT get inundated with cards, chocolates, flowers, hearts hanging from every surface - all in colors of pink, white and shades of red.  You must profess your love and affection for the object of said love and affection.

What if you don't have one?  What if you have no special love for whom to buy a heart shaped box of chocolate?  No one to whom you can send a romantic card?  No one who will send you one?  No flowers arriving at your door via FTD delivery man?

Well.  Let's not despair.  Really.  It's possible not to do so.  We can decide not to mope about this lack of romantic interest in our lives, or we can mope, eat a whole box of chocolates ourselves that we bought for ourself.  Which will it be?

We single folks can also decide to celebrate a day that focuses on love with all those we love in ways other than romantic.  Myself?  I bought cards for my  kids, and for other single friends who will not have romantic cards sent to them.  My cards will tell them how precious they are as friends.  My children will also get individual notes in each of their cards, letting them know how unique each one of them is and how desperately I love them.

Another terrific idea would be to have a fabulous party...a wine tasting, a potluck, a dessert extravaganza...for all your single friends, or folks who don't have family near.  Just having an excuse for fellowship is a terrific way to celebrate the holiday of love.

If you don't have friends, or some family you'd have for a party...how about  giving a card or chocolate to your neighbor, a co-worker, a pastor, an old teacher, a nursing home resident, your mailman or paper delivery boy. Someone in your life would love attention on Valentine's Day as much as you would appreciate it.  Give, celebrate loving people like Jesus does.

Speaking of Jesus, could there be any greater love to celebrate than His?  Is He not the best Valentine there is?  If you will be alone on February 14th, why not make yourself a special dinner, a glass of wine, a treat for dessert - and then sit and rejoice in the Father's love for you, in the gift of Jesus to your life - listen to worship music, dance in your kitchen, light candles...and celebrate the most fabulous love in your life. The truest lover of your soul; Jesus.

You are His Beloved, His Bride..He sings over you with delight when you are His.

Love to you My Valentine's...really.....

We are not alone...we have each other as we are on this quest called, 'Single'. 

What Did You Learn About Yourself In Your Divorce?

The other day, I wrote a bit about  moving on into a new relationship
after a divorce.  But, since then, I have had a few more thoughts that
I'd like to add to those of my earlier post.

Before considering a new relationship, take the time to contemplate
yourself.  What have you learned about YOU while going through your
divorce?  What are the things about you that proved to be strengths?
Weaknesses?  As you faced each hearing, each trial, each confrontation
with your former spouse, each email or phone call, how did you react?
How did you recover from each activity that brought stress for you?



 There are dozens of questions you could ask yourself...and every one
 is worth asking.



The reason I suggest this is so that you will examine the health of
your heart, mind, body and soul.  You don't want to head into a
relationship with old illness of heart lingering, or soul woes still
clinging to you.  It is vital that you have been on a healing road
that has originated from discovering your weaknesses, the actions and
attitudes that existed in your former relationship that need to be
changed or removed from your habits altogether, and honestly assessing
the actions you will NOT repeat and those you will continue to carry
out in relationships.


 Let's consider a couple typical areas of relational dynamics that you
might want to examine.  Think about your past behaviors and responses
to your former spouse.  Were you co-dependent?  Did you always try to
make excuses for your spouses behavior?  Did you walk on eggshells to
make peace at home?  Did you give up much of your hobbies,
your friends, your interests, your SELF in order to make your spouse
feel okay about himself or herself?  If so, then this is an issue you
from which you want to learn some powerfully needed lessons and new
thinking patterns.  Get counseling for such unhealthy living styles
and habits.  Realize your need to be free to think, breathe, relax and
live vibrantly in your own home..in your own skin, even.  When you are
strong enough to stand for yourself in such ways, then you have
learned well and are ready to move into a relationship.  Until then,
don't.  You may very well repeat the same unhealthy, very negatively
charged behaviors in your next relationship.

How about perfectionism?  Have you seen any of that in yourself as
you've considered yourself in your last relationship?  Are you
expecting perfection from a person?  Won't happen. Realize that the
Heavenly Father shows you an abundance of mercy and compassion. Be
willing to pass it on to your next mate.  I'm not speaking in
contradiction to the above paragraph about co-dependence.  I am
speaking of true mercy where needed. The kind in which you don't
pressure someone to be YOUR version of them.


 Happiness?  Let's think about you and your happiness.  Have you looked at yourself and made sure you will never, ever, ever again think anyone but you can make you happy?  Examine your past relationship.
Were you painfully disappointed in your spouse because he or she never made you happy?  Did you look outside yoruself for a source of happiness?  Happy begins with you; in you.  There is nothing outside of you that can make you happy.  No one can do this for you. 

The Heavenly Father has abundantly blessed us with peace, provision, serenity. refuge, grace, mercy, salvation - in this state, we are so rich.  Happiness can be found when we recognize these things from God, but also become comfortable in our own skin, our own gifts, talents, in our own self.  Until you realize that you alone are responsible for your happiness, you are not ready for another relationship.  You will need too much from someone, and they will always be a disappointment to you as you seek something which cannot be found in them. 

Look inside you.  Look for happy there. It cannot be found outside of you.   Develop this wonderful art of being happy as you thank God for YOU, for your life, your heart, your creativity, your graciousness, your personality...you are wonderful, well equipped for life, and fabulous.  Be happy in these truths about you.  Delight in simplicity, the sun on your face or the rain droplets on your tongue. Either way, you can be happy.  No person can give that to you.  You must hide these treasures within yourself. When you get to that private, pleasurable place in your heart, then you are ready to share life with another person. 

Come, ask, "What have I learned about ME in this adventure called divorce," join me in the search of the heart, the discovery of the best self available....and let's become that fabulous person, ready to live singley, or share life with another.  Either way, we are good.
Love you, Gayle

When do you move on after divorce?

I don't know. 

Well, that should be the end of this post, shouldn't it?  But, I'm going to attempt to go on and offer wisdom and hopefully, common sense.

Moving forward after a divorce is always the best choice....keep taking steps towards healing, towards a good mindset, towards healthy choices for your body, mind and spirit.  Seek counseling. Fellowship with good friends and others who will understand your plight as a newly single mom, dad, or person, in general.
Read good books that encourage your spirit and mind.  Exercise. Eat with making good choices for your body...and for the right reasons. Don't eat emotionally; eat because you are hungry.  Period.  Don't use drugs or alcohol to calm yourself down, unless you truly need physiological help in doing so. There are definitely times for SSRI's or other medications, but if prayer, meditation, counseling, exercise or rest help, then use those first.  Moving forward in healthy ways is possible in a variety of efforts.

Moving on is another story.  Moving on from your former spouse into a new relationship - how long do you wait and how do you approach such a task.

Well...let's see.

First, don't rush.  Being without a mate is not the end of the world.  You might be alone, but you can do things to prevent loneliness.  Be active with friends.  Be involved at your church.  Have company over often. And while this sounds cruel, it is still a healthy thing...become at peace with solitude.  Solitude is not lonely.  It is a serene state of mind, being at peace with yourself, knowing you are okay as a solitary human being.  You  need no one to complete you other than the Father in Heaven through Jesus Christ.  Yes, I know it is hard to go to weddings alone, to go to parent/teacher conferences alone, to go to parties alone, to be every place you ever go ALONE!  I know how that feels.  But, the functions attended alone are no reason to rush into a relationship.

Secondly, decide what type of person with whom you want a relationship, and stick to your guns.  Do NOT set yourself up for failure and look for perfection in every area...none of us fulfills that standard. But, do insist on character qualities that are important to you, and if you have children, qualities that would match your needs as a single parent.

Also, be very aware of your tendencies to be co-dependent.  This term applies to that type of person who is a nurturer in more than healthy means.  Nurturing and caring for someone are parts of relationships.  But, if you think you could nurture someone's pain away, or care enough to love them right out of his or her defensive, angry mode, then you are co-dependent, and that is NOT healthy.  You cannot make someone healthy.  They need to be healthy before you get in a relationship with them.

Last of all for this particular little blog, is do NOT look for someone to make YOU happy.  Don't do it.

Get your own self happy before getting into a relationship. Be whole in Christ Jesus before looking for someone to bring delight and fun into your life again.  Love yourself.  Get counseling if you need to - you are worth it.  No one can complete you totally until you are a healthy individual in your own skin.  You will suck the life from someone if you look to them to be the ONE to make you whole, happy, alive again. 

This is not an exhaustive list of ideas.  I'm sure counselors and relationship experts have written book after book, and article after article, detailing such healthy moving on techniques. But, I do know the few ideas about which I've written are indeed necessary before moving on into another relationship after divorce.

Be healthy, respect yourself.  Value yourself enough to wait for a great match.  Wait for God's best for you in this area of life. Be prayerful.  God does know your longing.  Trust Him, wait upon Him, and let Him love you as you move forward and move on.

My love to you...Gayle

Unfathomable Peace

Undone by the Unfathomable peace of God.  I am there.

My heavenly Father is fabulous, merciful, and working in me to make me mature, well developed in Jesus, and not deficient in any way.

Going through divorce makes the opportunity for this work of God in me. 

I never imagined myself going through a divorce.  In fact, I insisted the action was an absolute SIN before God, it did NOT fit in any box God would ever use or even look into, and, it was never going to be a word connected to me.  Fear of disfavor or disconnection from God was the ultimate foundation for this thinking.  In truth, the threat of disconnection from God was often one used on my mind and heart as my own marriage went through so much pain and strife.

Divorce grieves the heart of God. Any lost marriage is beyond description in its sadness.  Many marriages are still being carried out in a house, but they are so far removed from God's description of the union that an emotional, spiritual and mental divorce has already occured.  I sincerely believe it makes no difference to God the legal status of the marriage if the marriage is in a destructive state.  He is grieved either way. 

No person marries with the plan of divorcing.  I just don't believe this happens.  Who would be so foolish to sign up for such pain, disappointment, mess, hassle, and confusion???  Any person who finds themselves in an attorney's office, working out divorce settlement issues, is dumbfounded, aching, yearning for reasonable answers to this constant question filled place in life - What could have been done?  Did I do all I could?  Am I as bad as he says I am? Was the other woman really better than me?  Wasn't I good enough?  Is God mad at me now? Am I forgiving or am I faking it and really just a bitter, nasty, angry person?

The divorce process is a place of great pain. For both spouses.  There is loss, grief, anger, heartache, fear, doubt, insecurity, loneliness, confusion.  On and on the emotions go.  But, none of them is sin.  God knows each and every feeling we will experience as we walk through the tumultuous adventure.

Sin only begins when you act in anger, speak in bitterness of heart, harbor grudges, gossip and try to get others to take on your offense against your spouse.  For these, we must be on constant guard and in a constant state of confession and repentance.

The greater spiritual battle is the lack of peace during the upheaval.  But, our Father in heaven is so abundant in supplying a serenity of spirit, at His cost, for us.  The ultimate peace came in Jesus when He died on the cross..we have peace with God, our Father. But, daily peace in our living circumstances comes through Him as well. As we trust on Him....believe in His sovereignty, or right to rule, in our lives; believe He has our best on His heart; know His great love for us, and rest in it.  His word tells us that when we are anxiety ridden, praying with thanksgiving will allow Christ  to displace worry at the center of our lives.  And He tells us to think on lovely, pure, just things.....things of good report.  An Old Testament prophet says that peopoe with their minds set upon Him will be kept completely whole and in peace. 

The Father's word is true an faithful. These mindful choices do, indeed, work to allow His peace to reign in our minds and hearts.

I sleep well at night as I trust in His sovereignty.  Calmness of spirit exists because I know He is keeping me in the palm of His hand, with my name engraved upon His heart of love.  He will deal with any enemies that are against me, spiritual or otherwise.  He is my warrior in all adverse situations. 

No lie shall prevail against me, He says.  I trust Him to let truth be known, to be my ultimate attorney, my healer of all the broken heartedness and confusion.  My God is the one who will clear confusion.  He wants me to have knowledge of His will for me.  He longs for me to trust him in negative circumstances so His unfathomable peace can blow me away on the whispers of His love.

As you go through divorce, or separtion, or marital strife, rest in Him.  Repent where you have need and allow His great spirit of serenity to overwhelm you.  It is real.  It is for you as you trust in Him.

I have this peace, and I want to share it with you.  God has enough to go around.  I promise.

My love to all...Gayle

Whadda Week....Whew!

What a week it has been already. Actually, beginning with Friday night of last week, the past five days or so have been a whirlwind of change and emotion.  And the Father has danced with me through the entire adventure.

My twenty year old son left the nest yesterday.  He shipped out for basic training in the Army to Fort Jackson in South Carolina.  He is to be in the military for almost four years, so he will be 25 when he returns to be a part of 'normal' family life.  Unless he makes the military a career....which would NOT surprise me at all. 

On Friday night, my family held a large party for Graham as a send off of love and support by those whom he appreciates in life, support his life, have loved him, and have mentored him.  It was a terrrific night with over one hundred thirty in attendance...and that doesn't count little tiny non-eating kids.  Having my home so full of a dull roar, laughter, food, running kids, hugs, photo taking, and great people brings the best of delight to my heart.  The night was a memory making one, for Graham and for me.  The support was good for me as it was for him. 

Then, Sunday, friends, extended family and siblings hung out at the house for food, prayer over Graham and general tomfoolery.  We had a great time just laughing and goofing around.  But, then night fell, and the older kids all took off to go to another friends for one last night of game playing with Graham.  After the kids left, my eight year old, Gavin, came running to me and dropped into my lap.  He was sobbing in a way I've never heard come from his little body before then.  I did not want to bring up Graham if that was not the problem, but I was pretty sure it was the reason for the sobbing. 

After a few minutes, Gav walked away to the couch and continued crying.  I went to pick him up and hold him and asked for just one word to tell what was making him so sad.  "Graham," slipped through his quivering lips, and he sobbed more deeply. At this point, my own heart broke.  I held him and just cried with him, told him of God's great love for Graham, Graham's grand adventure, discussed what a terrific brother Graham is to him but that Graham was grown up and needed to move forward.  His own time would come later, I explained.  We cried some more.  After about an hour, Gavin fell asleep on my chest.  We slept on the couch that night.  I didn't want to wake him.

Next morning rolls around town and we are off and running to school and work....and sayng goodbye to Graham for good.  He took the kiddles to school one last time, hugged them all there, and then came home to pack up to leave for Lansing to the Military  Entrance Processing Station.  The day was difficult for all the kids, but they handled it well.  Landon, Graham's older brother, was able to meet him in Lansing at night for dinner with friends....The Last Supper, they called it....and he said his goodbyes and held Graham in a warm hug there.  Brothers....wealthy brothers.

Then came Tuesday, January 10, 2012.  My 29th wedding anniversary; the one I'm not celebrating, nor am I mourning it.  It came.  I remembered.  And I drove to Lansing to see Graham sworn in and leave on the bus for the airport where he'd fly out to Fort Jackson.  A dear friend, Brenda Dillon, drove with me to make sure I had a chauffeur for the ride home in case I was in no shape to drive.

Seeing Graham at attention, at ease, responding to the officer at the ceremony that committed Graham to the Army - I was so proud of him.  His head was held high, his voice firm and strong, his body erect and ready for action.  Confidence exuded from him, and I saw the look in his countenance of a man ready to do what he'd set out to do - no turning back, no second guessing, sure of himself.  I was proud. 

After different briefing meetings, Graham was able to sit with us for a bit before being called for shipping out.  We discussed some of his financial business, his vehicle, insurance, credit cards, etc.  We hugged, sat close, shared our ideas on his going. then he was called out.  I hurried to the front desk to make sure this was not his actual leaving time, because I'd not hugged him goodbye before he left the room. A kind gentleman assured me it was not and said I could wait there where Graham would enter again one more time before leaving the building for the bus. 

As I stood there, I looked up and saw them coming. A long, single file line of soldiers, walking down the hall they had just traveled a few moments before.  Then they went haphazardly, now they were single file, folders in hand, walking purposefully.  Over the speakers in the building, "I'm Proud to Be an American' began to play, and the kind gentleman I mentioned before announced over the PA, "Please stand as the newest members of the United States Army pass by."

The entire room of parents, officers, soldiers, recruits, and spouses stood and applauded as the single file line of soldiers passed through the room to get their Army issued back packs. 

I was told to head out to the bus so I could say goodbye there.  I did...and the tears hit my eyes and the lump filled my throat.  Now is the time.  He's going. Finally going.  He's no longer a part of our household after this moment.  No longer will I find his whiskers in the girls' bathroom sink where he uses the haircutting clippers to trim his beard.  No longer will I find his coat in the chair.  His running shoes won't be waiting at the door anymore.  He's in the Army now. 

I waited by the bus until Graham came down the MEPS stairs.  We hugged tightly, I told him what I wanted him to know, and I told him I loved him. We hugged and kissed and he went to the bus.  As he waited to climb the bus steps, we kept flashing the ASL sign for 'I love you'...a special sign for Graham and me.  Then, I ran to him and said, "Just one more kiss goodbye....I love you, honey."

Up he climbed.  I continued to wave, flash the I love you sign, holding back my tears.  I was not going to bawl right there.  I wanted Graham to be assured that I am going to be alright. 

He had told me in the waiting area that he asked some of his guy friends to be sure to check in on me, make sure I was okay and if I needed anything in his absence. So, I know he has me on his mind. Sweet of him.  But, that is like Graham.

I watched until his ride was out of sight, heading for the airport to take him to his new home away from home. The Army has him now. Take good care of my boy, Army. 

I love you, Graham.

A lot of change, memory making, sad reminders and emotion this past few days.  God's mercies are new every morning.  I'm so thankful.

Love you all...thanks for praying for my guy, Graham.  And for me.

Gayle