Fatigue, Faith and the Father

The week has been long, tiring, full of new happenings at every turn, and a real inspiration to practice my faith.

After twenty-three years of home schooling, my last five children started public school this week. We survived. There were a few tired tears, but we conquered.  Since school was in session, my second job as a director of a program for children after school is dismissed was begun as well.  There were a couple days of my needing to be at work at 6:45 a.m., working until three, and then straight to the church for the second job hours until 6:00 p.m.  I felt pushed right to my limits those days, and I kept thinking about women and men who have done such things as two jobs, single parenting, and surviving it all. Many have gone before me who have been victorious in life changing times, so I was encouraged to remember such truths.

So, now, my household is one of homework, football games, activities, signing sheet after sheet of paper with some notice upon it, youth activities, working mom, dishes piling up, and laundry multiplying and running around the house while we are all gone throughout the day.  (I'm sure I saw a pair of shorts run down the hall and drop down on the floor as I entered the side door the other day....they thought I didn't notice, but I'm positive I saw it happen.)

As I've been sitting in my car at the end of the day, feeling too tired to walk to the door, I've been forced to do nothing but pray.   My heavenly Father knows my fatigue.  My faith in Him tells me that He knows what I need before I know myself.  He loves me that desperately. 

A dear friend and mentor knew of my fatigue and offered the gift of paying for a clinical massage for me this week.  Money for breakfast was even included in the card that informed me of my massage date and time.  Scriptures to read and enjoy with the Lord were offered as suggestions for me to dwell upon as I had my breakfast.  My heavenly Father knew I needed those things, and He inspired my friend to minister to me.  I know it is true. 

I'm hoping as you pray in your weariness, you see answers from Him...that your faith in Him lets you see every gift He sends, no matter its size.

There are different forms of weariness, I know.  Adult life just lends itself to fatigue.  Physical tiredness comes from long hours of work.  Mental fatigue follows sitting at the table and figuring out your taxes.  Spiritual fatigue slips in as you wrestle with God over a painful trial.  Most exhausting, in my opinion, is emotional fatigue or exhaustion; that worn out heart and soul that have faced too many battles too close in succession, or too much pain and loneliness.  This weariness of soul comes wrapped in various sized and shaped packages. 

This week, I received an 'anonymous', unsigned letter in an envelope with a copy of Bible book,  James, chapter one, with verses highlighted that the writer thought were appropo to my sinful life.  Then, also included was a 'Dear Abbey' article on a divorced wife keeping her business to herself.  I'm used to such things as I travel this road of hard choices in my marital separation and divorce choice.  But, they are wearisome still.

Many of you, too, I know, face emotionally draining challenges to your walk of faith, to your strong stands in life, and to your relationships.  Single, divorced, even married, the challenges that arise in relationships can be the most wearisome of all.

But, even in these, I know the Father is faithful and merciful.  I know that letter I received was nothing to be alarmed by; I 'considered the source'.  You know, if you are walking in faith, praying for wisdom, seeking counsel, then the stresses that come from outside sources are ones to be ignored heartily.  We each have to press on in faith, doing what we believe is best, wisest and healthiest for our families and ourselves.  It is exhausting to worry what others think all the time, and it is more exhausting to take the junk of others and let its weight rest upon our lives.  We can set it aside, rest in the Father's guidance and care, and move on. 

These actions bring rest to the soul. When we try to bear too much of the crap that comes our way, then we are sincerely exasperated and fatigued to unhealthy levels.  But, knowing God draws us to Himself, wanting to have us let Jesus bear our yoke of heaviness, and that He will settle all the junk in our lives - this knowledge can bring rest to our lives.  Yes, we still walk through the mine field of mess, but we do so with the peaceful sense of knowing the Father has prepared the way.  He has known our need at this place in life long before we encountered it.  His plans for us have lined the road we travel.  Do you trust Him this much?

Many have written to me to say that this emotional fatigue, or loneliness, or pain in all the areas I've discussed before in this blog, are also very common to married folks as well.  I know this is true.  I've been short sighted to only direct my comments to single people, divorced or separated, or widowed.  Stress hits us all.  In so many forms.  But, as individuals of faith, we can dwell in such places of emotional exhaustion with the knowledge that our heavenly Father sees and intends to bring a form of deliverance to us that will be a balm to our wearied places of the heart. 

I do believe, though, that God also wants us to be resting before Him...being still and knowing He's God and will be exalted.  (Psalm 46:10)  He wants us stopping our fast paced lives and sitting at His feet, or taking naps, letting a messy kitchen sit while we rest, getting good exercise, fellowshipping with healthy friends, ....God loves us, cares for us and brings intercession. But, He does mean for us to take care of ourselves as well. 

So, when fatigue hits, and you pray for help or deliverance or rescue, wait upon God for it.
But, take that nap whenever you can.  Sit and worship with music to soothe a pained heart. Chat with a trusted friend who will edify your spirit.  These things just might be the methods of deliverance God brings as you go to Him in faith, trusting Him to answer your cries of exhaustion.

Don't feel guilty, either, loved one.  That is NOT a gift from God at all.  Stand against it. And stand against any source of nasty guilt from others that only brings emotional weariness to your soul.  You know who those treasures are from, and it isn't your Father in heaven.

Rest your souls, beloved readers.  Fatigue is real. The Father who loves you beyond description is MORE real.  Really.

Love you...Gayle