Who Am I?

Identity:

•  a particular mode of being of a person or thing; existing state; situation with respect to circumstances

• the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another

• the individual characteristics by which a person or thing is recognized

• the state of being the same as a person or thing described or claimed

In a recent note I received via email, I was challenged to consider my idea of divorce, separation, and singleness in a different light.


One of my essays, located at the bottom of this blog page, details the adjectives I have felt applied to my life as a 'not married', separated, going through legal issues woman.  Dirty was one of the words I used.  I never imagined the dirtiness I would feel from accusations, blame, slander, gossip, and lost relationships.  Actually, I never imagined any of that happening at all, let alone the sensations that would accompany it.


But, this recent email I received from a kind gentleman friend, directed my thoughts to something other than ugly adjectives for myself.  He used the word 'identity'; that word up there with all the various definitions after it.  I've been considering it ever since we chatted about it.


I am not dirty.  I have merely changed identity.  This change in identity also includes loss, which makes it painful, but pain is not soiled.


I was once a wife.  Now I a separated woman, with a name, but no connection to a man I once called 'husband.  A marriage license no longer connects my heart to that role.  My identity has changed.  This does not make me dirty.


How have you changed identity?  Did you, too, change marital status? Are you an empty nester, now?  Did you lose or change your vocation?  Have you always identified yourself as Mr. or Mrs. So and So, or someone's Daddy or Momma, or a doctor, a baker, a banker, a teacher?


Our titles may change. But, our character does not.  No longer being married is not an avenue to disaster and smudging of moral character or value.  Losing a job, or no longer caring for any children in the home is not a change in who you are.  It is an alteration of title, of position, not validity or uniqueness.


Yet, I know the loss of these parts of what you do in life is a painful thing, and can even be heartbreaking.  Single, widowed, grieving parent, jobless, parapalegic who was once a sports hero....any number of scenarios cry out the angst of such losses.  But you are still able to be who you were created to be.


Are you becoming THAT person....the one God created you to be?  If you are a believer in Him, you are His Child...not only His creation, but His very relation. That identity will never be altered.  You stand complete in Him no matter your marital, parenting or money making status.


Each of us is created in the image of God....His creativity, His divine attributes of longing for fellowship, talents, love of nature, art, music, wonder...love..He has put each of those within us, in our identity as His image bearers.


My marital status does not change that.  Nor does yours.


I am no longer Mrs. _____ _________.  I am Gayle Kuhnle Hansen.  Made in the image of God. I am creative, loving, kind, outgoing, spastic, funky, compassionate, easily tearful, a hugger, madly in love with Jesus, a writer, a singer, a painter...a friend, a parent, a sister, a mother, a daughter.  None of those parts of who I am have changed because I am no longer a man's wife.  I am the Beloved of Christ Jesus.  As His child, you are, too.


My identity in Him, as the woman He created my to be is solid.  It will not change.  My titles may, my character will not. Marital status does not steal these things from me. I am not dirty.  I have an identity rooted in My Creator, My Redeemer, My Beloved Bridegroom Jesus.  I am whole.