The Art of Being Still: I belong, I belong, I belong....to YOU!!!!

Friday, August 12, 2011

I belong, I belong, I belong....to YOU!!!!

Sometimes, it is hard to be single and not belong to anyone. I'm feeling that way tonight. And rather mopey about it, too. Not a pity party really, but rather a realization of my 'place' in life.

I'd like to believe I could win the heart of a kind, gracious, loving, winsome man....that he'd love me well, and let me love him like crazy. But, that is not happening, and I don't believe it will for many years, if ever.

Blah. That is not a good feeling.

As I worked around the house and yard tonight, getting ready for a real estate agent to show the house tomorrow morning, I yearned for the companionship of a helper, someone to work along side me, to dream with me on what we'd do if the house sold, where we'd go, what we would pitch, what we'd put in a moving sale, and all the days of excitement that might lie ahead.

But, I weeded alone. I cleaned toilets and folded laundry alone. But, I sang. And one song kept coming to mind. "I Belong".....over and over again, the song repeats the phrase, the spiritual mantra...."I belong, I belong to You, I belong, I belong to You, I belong, I belong to You..."

The first few times I heard this song, I thought it rather redundant in its lyrics, rather simple. Yet simple is powerful sometimes. And this is one of those times.

As I worked alone, and sang to the Lord, I was overcome with the fact that I do, indeed, belong to Him. No matter who does not work beside me, or want me, or like me, or love me...I belong to and am loved by the One who can love and care for me best. No, He's not tangible, and He doesn't mow the lawn or weed the garden areas with me, yet, He's more. So much more.

He is the lover of my soul for its very best. He loves me too much to give me lesser things. And the things I want, but He does not allow,must be the lesser things He will not bring into my life.

This is truth. He loves me best. He likes me best. His design for my life is best.

I belong.

Jesus, you are a wonderful bridegroom, a faithful lover, a tender and merciful confident for my heart and soul. Thank you..I love you.

1 comment:

KathyAugust 13, 2011 at 12:04 AM
I will bookmark your blog so I can be encouraged by the journey you are on with your ultimate Bridegroom!
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Welcome to Single Trials

No one could have prepared me for the trials, adventures, pains, delights, or zaniness that would accompany becoming single after 28 years of marriage, or the insanity of trying again to have it end five years later. I've cried, laughed, furied, blown up, sobbed, rejoiced, been excited, been lonely and scared, had confusion overwhelm me about decisions for the kids, home, bills, etc., and have been changed powerfully through it all.

This blog is my journey of the soul, heart and mind put to words. Somehow writing gets all the angst out of my mind, into the air, letting it dissipate in its intensity, while at the same time bringing me to the feet of Jesus, laying my burden at His feet knowing He cares for me. Those two things happen simultaneously as I write. I'm inviting you to share my heart with me, join with me in healing from heartaches and trials that accompany singlehood and single parenting. Most of all, come along beside me and see all God is doing in the details, all the lessons He's teaching, all the greater things He is allowing instead of letting me have the lesser things I might think are good for me. He is an amazing God...let's see Him in all the Single Trials.

Special Thanks.....

Over the years, many friends and relatives have suggested I write - whether a book, an article, a journal or now a blog. I want to say thank you to those folks who are encouragers...thank you Mike Larson for my funky logo, your inspiration and encouragement; Aunt Ruthie for pressing in with that question about writing and getting on with it; and finally, Chris Zimmerman for that stinging question, "How badly do you want it, Gayle?"

And I'm thankful when I consider that God has given me a heart of expression, a grasp of words and articulation, and, now, the ability to share them. Thank you, Father..you are amazing.

The purpose of Being Still...

An amazing man asked me the purpose of my blog...what are my goals in writing. If he asked me that question, maybe I should ask myself, as well, and put into words my goals for sharing my heart publicly. If goals are made clear, it is easier to discern if the target has been hit in its bullseye.

Psalm 46:10 is my focus verse from the Bible. "Be still and know that I Am God. I will be exalted in the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth."

The first section is powerful exortation for me....'Be still, Gayle, cease striving. Know God and His sovereignty; trust it....He will be exalted in your life.'

Am I letting Him be exalted in me? He will be as I learn to be still before Him, letting Him be God, letting Him be at work as He alone is able to be, letting Him be known by me, not striving so much that I interfere in knowledge of Him.

My goal is to learn the beautiful art of being still before the Father. It is a goal more worthy than most. God is using my life as a single mom to draw me to Himself, to teach me about being still. As I write for myself and for you, I want to do my own mastering of the art, and I yearn to lead you to doing your own sitting still before the Father. I long to have others know the love of God I have come to know, the absolute truth of His delight in me.

My single status, woman alone, woman without a spouse, mom without much support....all these 'titles' have opened a university of great learning for me. Each one has given me reason to cry out to Jesus, be drawn to the Father, let the Spirit work within me...I wouldn't trade one of those places for the love I know in Jesus now. Yes, I long for Him to move me on to other love....but, I know that the lonely places of single-hoodand single trials have been where He has met me, comforted me, made me know I am His own.

I want to take you there with me. Know that someone shares the crazy journey with you on the road of single life; that is one of the purposes of this blog....that you will not feel alone on the bumpy road. No one could have prepared me for this adventure...it is more insane than I could have ever imagined. So, I share it all with you.

The other place I want to go as a goal for this blog is the wonderful art gallery known as Stillness Before the Father. Let's go bask in His love, His care, His sovereignty, His delight over us.....and let's become masters in His art.

You are all so beloved of the Father...know this as true.
Gayle

Quotes I love to repeat.....

"If I might lend a machete to your intellectual thicket..." Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

"Just keep swimming; just keep swimming!" Dory, Finding Nemo

"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

I've never been hurt by what I didn't say. Calvin Coolidge

"They are all the face of Jesus. Unto the least of these." Mother Teresa

It does strain at credulity at that~" Captain Barbosa, P O T C

"Do. Or Do not. There is no try." Yoda, Star Wars

"You most certainly Am Are!" Shrek

"How does one take the temperature of toast?"
Around the World in 80 Days

"Believe in yourself more than you believe in food." Women, Food and God

"Preach Christ; when necessary use words."
St. Francis

C.S. Lewis
" Experience:that most brutal of teachers; but you learn, by God do you learn."

"The task of modern educators is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts."

"An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason."

A favorite of Lewis's ..
.'You do not have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body."

Friday, August 12, 2011

I belong, I belong, I belong....to YOU!!!!

1 comment:

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