In a majority of the cases, divorced or widowed people would like to be remarried again, or at least a partner in a monogamously commited couple. It is natural to want to be loved again, and to offer the love one has in his or her own heart.
After months or many years of being 'alone', or not part of a loving couple, the human soul longs to connect in ways beyond friendship. The relationship that is friends first, then wonderfully leads to romance, is the longing of many a human heart.
But, in the longing to be loved by another, are you loving yourself enough first and foremost?
By this question, I mean, do you love yourself enough to demand that the person you connect to in love will also love YOU with respect, honor, and, the behaviors that would show that same respect and honor?
Are you settling for qualities that you do NOT want to live with the rest of your life?
You want love, but are you settling?
Settling has a negative connotation, doesn't it? It's not a peaceful, satisfying acquiescence to a condition; it is an unsatisfied, gotta take what you can get sort of decision.
Are you afraid no one else will want you? Do you think that a new love who pays attention to you, but is often rude or angry, is the one you must accept for love because another chance at a relationship may never happen?
Do you allow someone to make you battle feeling belittled? Stupid? Your ideas are unimportant? They won't admit to a deed when your feelings have been hurt? They won't discuss a painful occurance to you, because ultimately, it means they have to confess a wrong doing or an actual sin against you? He or she can be flirtatious with the opposite sex, but if you even greet a friend of the opposite sex with a hug, you are being inappropriate?
If any of these questions cause you to say, "Yes," then move on my friend. Stand up and love yourself.
Tell yourself you are WORTH loving, respecting, and treating well. Do NOT believe the lie that no one else will want you, or take you as you are, so you must accept rude behavior, callous comments, belittling words, or disrespect in any form.
Love yourself as God loves you. He has given you value by creating you in His Image, and by letting His son die for you. This world is full of brokenness caused by the fall of man, not God....but, there are men and women who choose wise, loving, honorable behaviors who can fall in love with you so that you have NO need to giving in to a relationship that will always hurt you.
Now, please, do not get me wrong. In any relationship, there will be moments of weakness, hurt feelings, and words for which someone must apologize. But, if those words and behaviors are the NORM, and not the abnormal, and someone does not want to discuss those things in order to apologize for them, then RUN to the nearest exit and wait for the BEST for you.
You are worth waiting for the best. Each of us has a best. Look yourself in the face as you gaze in a mirror, tell yourself you are worth more than gold; you will not SETTLE for less than a love that thrills your heart, encourages your spirit, makes your soar with delight in your soul, and gives you smiles at every thought of it.
Do NOT allow your heart to be ruled by a love that causes you to need to walk on eggshells in order to keep someone else happy, non-argumentative, and nice to you. Choose healthy, sound love. Be aware of any words or behaviors that send red flags flying before you eyes. Yield to those red flags. Don't let them keep waving over you, flaring in your face - lower those flags and walk away.
You are worth all the efforts and the sense of temporary loss you might experience as you choose to wait for a better love.
Wait for the best.
Settle for nothing less.
I love you, friends....Gayle
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