Wow, I just looked at the date of the last blog I wrote and realized it has been nine months since being creative and thought provoking here on the blog. Quite honestly, my blogs about single life were creating too much personal drama, life interrogation, gossip, and slander, I just gave up on using this media to share my thinking and pondering on all that was happening in me during the days and months living as a woman alone raising several children, working two and three part time jobs, and maintaining a house and home. The stress wasn't worth the energy gained by pouring myself in to creative writing.
But, much has happened in the past several months, and darn it all, I feel like writing again.
For one thing, I'm not single anymore.
That's right. On October 19th, 2012, I was joined in marriage to an amazing man of God, of passion, of commitment, and love...Edwin Cohea. Also, I moved to a town seventy miles away from where I'd lived for almost thirty years. Jobs changed, schools changed, church changed, friends around me changed, name changed, .....a lot changed. But, I'm still standing. Thank you, Father, because I know apart from you, I could not be standing with any strength, worth or grace....you are at work in me.
Moving as a single woman was an astounding task. I was overwhelmed in every way. Without the aid of wonderful friends, I would not have been able to accomplish such a huge task. Surrounding yourself with good friends, folks in a supportive church like I had...these are vital choices for single folks to make. I learned a great deal about humbley asking for and accepting help during the time of the move from a huge house, to a smaller one in a community seventy miles away. Much sacrifice was made on my behalf....I cannot praise God for it enough. I pray often, still, that He blesses those people who gave so much to me then.
During the months leading to my move, I was praying the prayer many single people pray. "Lord, please send someone who will love me well..someone I can respect, love, serve, care about in earnest...someone who will love my children like his own...someone who will love you more than he loves me, because I know if he loves you, he will love me well. Please, Father..I'm weary of being alone, I'm overwhelmed, I want a partner, I want a friend, I don't want to sleep and wake alone anymore. Lord, I know you are supposed to be ENOUGH....and in life, you are...but I long for a tangible hand to hold, Lord. Please understand..I know you do..I know you know my heart."
Well, it was not long after that God sent Edwin. Here's the ripper...you'd be amazed at all the people that think they know the heart of God for me; the ones who declared I was disgusting, adulteress, sinful, not spiritual, sad, etc. Yet, those folks did not know every legal, spiritual, emotional detail of my life, my bills, my circumstances, my mind....or my conversation with my Father. I am beyond grateful for God's work in bringing Edwin to me....the details are so phenomenal to go over in order to see His hand in little tidbits of each happening or conversation between Edwin and me. But, it is easier for people to judge and be offended by my choices, my joy, my delight, than to seek to really know what was happening for me.
Be learned, single friends, that it is often human nature for the heart of man, or woman, friend, family, whoever...to not know what to do WITH YOU when you enter into a joyful place, when you feel or believe God is moving in your life but they do not get it as you do. Many opinions will come your way, many words of judgment, many words of disdain....yet most of those won't come after a nice, long conversation with you as a person gets to know your heart.
Those sharp, fiery darts will be aimed at you in reaction, not response. They will come in letters, emails, facebook posts, comments to other friends. So, get ready to wield a tough skin.
I learned this the hard way. Oh, admonishments came to me...be ready, don't be so open with your life, don't let so many into your business, guard yourself. But, I've always been an open book, so I hid nothing, since I had nothing to hide. When I had joy, I shared it. Yet, I'm here to share with you now...be wise, be tempered, be measured as my husband likes to say. Be wise in whom you trust with your secret joy treasures. No, you are not ashamed of them, but guard your joys and share them with only those who will rejoice with you.
I am NOT saying you won't receive some honest, loving admonishment from someone who truly knows you, has suffered like and with you. If you do, then listen to those folks, receive their words as ones of care and genuine concern. Pray over them. But, only those words. Just let fly those that come from spite, hatefulness, judgment and criticism that has no base in love for you or God. It is not a person who truly fears God, and knows him or reveres Him, that can spew venomous words as though they are from His heart for you. God does not work that way. You don't see that in the new covenant anywhere.
A precious friend recently shared with me wisdom learned when she traversed the same path I have trod this past year. She said she learned to become very intimate with her husband and her heavenly Father; to let her joys be with those two most precious men in her life. Others like to steal joy in the redemption of God in your life. Guard that work.
I learned the hard way. When God is doing redemptive, restorative work in you, your life, or your circumstances...restoring joy to broken places in your heart - rejoice only before the Father and with those you know whose hearts will grasp the deep places to which God has taken you. Do not exploit those treasures like cheap Chuckie Cheese toys won with paper tokens....cherish them and handle them tenderly and with protection as prizes from heaven, given to you in dark places, treacherous adventures, and painful works as God alone can foster in you. These gifts may be personally in you, they may also be in the gifts of love from another....redemption, restored joy, healing, wounds cleansed...delight in them as straight from the hand of God. Boldly give thanks for them and do not let the enemy of your soul steal them through guilt, fear, worry, or the words of unkind people.
I rejoice with you, my dear friends, who are and have been single...who God is loving as a faithful husbandman, and who God may be giving a mate to even today. He is faithful...trust Him with your prayers and with your rejoicing. Your intimacy with Him, your security in Him....precious indeed.
I love you, friends. You are such treasures.
:-)
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